Our future
by Ilana88
Summary: After having spent some time with Lisbon's family in Chicago, Jane and Lisbon take a look at their own life and their expectations for the future. (set after 7x07)


A/N: The way I decided to let Jane and Lisbon handle this is probably rather unpopular. ;) But I wanted to have it out there nevertheless. Reviews (and this especially includes critical ones) are very much appreciated!

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><p>All seemed very quiet that evening. The last few days had been noisy and stressful; mainly because of all the troubles Jimmy had gotten himself into…but also, to a lesser degree, because she'd been surrounded by her family all day long. Lisbon had almost forgotten what it felt like to be in a house full of people; two of her brothers, Stan's children and his wife … and of course Jane. She smiled at the memory. A bunch of Lisbons and Jane was definitely not a quiet mixture, but in the end her brothers and Jane had called it a truce. They hadn't said it in words but Lisbon knew that her family accepted Jane for who he was and what he meant to her.<p>

"Boring book?", Jane asked, disrupting her thoughts and the silence. "No…", she looked at the closed book in her hands and put it down. "I just don't feel like reading."

Jane did the same and leaned back on the couch.

"Missing your brothers?"

Lisbon couldn't prevent a grin. "Not really. I love them and I'm looking forward to visiting them again soon, but…", she shrugged, "they also tend to drive me crazy if I'm too long around them."

Jane moved closer to her, so that he could put his arm around her.

"Like I do?"

Lisbon laughed. "I used to think so…", she looked at him, "but surprisingly this doesn't seem to be the case any longer." She leaned against him and closed her eyes for a moment, simply enjoying the closeness.

"I guess you're quite happy to be back", she asked him in return, playing with one of the buttons of his vest without really realising it.

"I very much enjoyed meeting your family", he said, "even if I'd wished it had been under happier circumstances."

It was ridiculous but somehow it meant a lot to Lisbon to hear him say that. "Did they meet your expectations?" She looked up at him, curious to see what he thought.

"Yes and no", he pulled her even closer. "I was surprised by Stan. He's very different from Tommy and Jimmy….", he stopped a moment to look at her, "more…reasonable", he shrugged at her apologetically, "not that you're other brothers aren't…" – "Stop it." Lisbon sighed, "We don't have to talk around it. Prudence or cautiousness isn't something that you would associate with my younger two brothers…even if I don't like to admit it."

Jane pressed a kiss into her hair. "We all make mistakes at some point, that's how we learn. Talking about mistakes…I'm pretty sure Stan still thinks I'm one too."

He didn't sound insecure, but Lisbon nevertheless took his hand in hers.

"Well, then he's wrong. Besides, he invited us for Christmas…it can't be that bad. Otherwise he'd never would have done that, believe me."

Lisbon didn't let go of his hand. "His family loved you anyhow…the children didn't want to let you go."

Jane grinned, "It's not that difficult to make children like you. A few magic tricks and you're their hero."

"Luckily they weren't old enough for you to teach them picking pockets…I'm sure Stan wouldn't have liked that." Lisbon murmured and she only meant it half as a joke.

"Well, there'll be a next time. And by the time they're old enough, I'm sure Stan will have gotten used to me."

Lisbon's heartbeat sped up at his words. He said is so casually, as if it was the most normal thing in the world that he'll still be around her family in a few years.

She was sure he felt it, but he didn't say a word, just pulled her closer.

For a few moments they both remained silent.

"It was a strange feeling though, being in a house with children again", Jane admitted honestly. It was this new openness that still surprised her sometimes and made her love him even more.

"Sarah..she's about the age…", he took a deep breath and Lisbon at the same time hold her own. "She's about the age Charlotte was when…" He stopped again and Lisbon knew that he wouldn't finish the sentence. But it wasn't necessary; they both knew what he'd wanted to say.

"I'm sorry", she whispered and tightened the grip around his hand.

"No, it's ok…" he pressed another kiss in her hair, "it was nice. They were lovely kids." She could hear the smile in his voice. "The oldest one reminded me of you", he said, "she wasn't so easily convinced by my magic tricks as the others."

Lisbon tensed and something close to panic rose in her. There was more behind the casual words he just said and they both knew it. They'd never talked about children. The silence that Lisbon enjoyed just moments before suddenly seemed like the calm before a storm.

She wasn't sure that she was ready to talk about this, that she was ready to hear his thoughts…to share her thoughts about this. What if he wouldn't understand?

"Did you ever want children, Teresa?", he asked her, his voice calm and firm, nothing compared to the uproar in her own mind.

She closed her eyes for a moment, in the hope to calm herself.

"After my mother died", she began, her voice shaking slightly, "I swore myself to never have children. I didn't want to risk leaving them behind, leaving them alone in this world without anyone to protect them…", she stopped. She hadn't talked about this with anyone, not once.

Jane moved his free hand over her arm in a soothing pattern, but he didn't say anything.

"Then I met Greg…and he wanted children. At least four of them. He talked about it all the time, what a great mother I'd be, how happy we'd be, how we'd be a real family…", she sighed", I don't know…I didn't dare to say something and first and then at some point I started to believe that he maybe was right, that it would be good for us. I was so young, but I wanted this to work." She smiled, a sad smile. "As you know it never came to that. I run off before the wedding." She closed her eyes, "Maybe you could say I came to my senses. I was so relieved to get away from all this."

Lisbon lifted her head from his shoulder so that she could look at him. "The question came never up after that. I was never in a situation to even think about it."

He didn't avoid her gaze. "And now?"

She laughed, partly in an attempt to deflect from the topic. "I'm not that young any more, Jane. We both aren't."

He shrugged, "Nor that old. It wouldn't be impossible."

She took both his hands in hers. This wasn't only about her.

"What about you, Jane?", she asked him. It was just for the fraction of a second, but she saw the flicker of fear in his eyes.

"I…", he looked at their joint hands, suddenly a lot less confident , "It wouldn't be easy. But", he lifted his gaze and looked at her the way only Jane could, as if he was seeing directly into her soul.

"I want you to be happy. And if that is what you want… I could -", he corrected himself, "I can do it, for us."

Lisbon smiled at him. "It's not all about me, Jane. I want you to be happy, too."

He wanted to answer but Lisbon put her finger on his lips.

"Don't", she said, "don't put my happiness above yours. That works both ways you know? Maybe making you happy is all I need, too." She kissed him softly.

"I love you, Jane. And I'm happy. I don't need anything more." She gently traced the line of his jaw and let her hand rest at the nape of his neck.

"We've only just found each other. I want time with you…", she smiled at him, "call me selfish. But I don't want to share you yet, maybe never."

She leaned her forehead against his and could feel him take a shaky breath of relief.

"What about in a few years? What if you change your mind and it might be too late?"

Lisbon played with the curls in his neck. "That's life. I'm happy now and there's no way I'll ever regret having done what makes me, what makes us happy. It's something I didn't do enough in my life. We don't need to always plan everything; we should just do what makes us happy. Let life happen."

Jane smiled at her. "Now you start sounding like me." Lisbon returned the smile and pulled him close for a kiss.

"Does this mean beekeeping isn't off the table?", he asked with a grin, after they broke apart for a moment.

"One has nothing to do with the other", she playfully poked him in the side, "I still love my Job and so far your alternatives haven't been very tempting."

"Well…maybe I've just haven't found the right one yet", he murmured and kissed her - a kiss of a different kind. They wouldn't discuss or resolve their professional future that evening that much became obvious as his hands found their way under her shirt. But it didn't matter.

They were happy and for the first time in years Lisbon didn't feel the need to think ahead or to hope for something more in the future; she was just happy to live the moment.


End file.
